Skip to main content

Bedtime Confession

I thought about Him all day. 

That day in his office replayed in my head as I ate lunch, talked to clients, checked on my sister. Each time, I thought about his large, strong hands massaging my shoulders, kneading the tension away and replacing it with a more carnal tension; I thought of the how even his office chair felt erotic, as I became aware of the lower part of my body. I thought of how his breath was labored as he described his last sexual encounter. I pretended not to notice his erection.

He asked, brazenly so, "Have you ever had multiple orgasms?"

My face felt hot as I mustered up a nervous chuckle. I didn't answer. I avoided the question by sliding my freshly-pedicured feet from my pointy Anne Klein mules and pretended to massage them. At the time, I thought this action was simply defensive -- a way to counter his boldness, a way for me to gain control of the situation. "My feet are killing me," I lied. His erection remained.

Days after the incident, I realized I consciously invited him into my intimacy.

He took my feet into his hands, taking the place of my hands. His hands felt so good; I felt daring, sexual. He admired my toe polish color, and then offered up an anecdote I can't quite recall now. He touched my ankles, I flinched. "Give me your other foot," he said.

The mere act of lifting my leg to him made me squirm. He massaged. Suddenly he let my left foot go and excused himself. Where he went, I don't know. But I took it as my cue to get myself together.

When he returned, he looked flustered, as though he'd been caught in the act of committing unbridled sin. I was ready to leave. I hugged him (wtf!!) and thanked him for letting me look over his portfolio.

On my way home, whizzing north on Lake Shore Drive, I laughed at the cliché of what had just happened. I laughed at my wild imagination. I laughed at myself. I laughed at the sensations below my navel. And I, too, needed to excuse myself.

Popular posts from this blog

Tick-Tock

So there I was, standing in line at Walgreens, a bottle of orange juice and a box with the acronym e.p.t. stenciled across it in my hands. The orange juice is there to make me feel better. This is no big deal; just a city girl buying orange juice and a pregnancy test. There's an old white-haired lady behind me with a tube of KY Jelly and tampons. Okay.... In front of me is a middle-aged man, looking jolly with chubby red cheeks. "Hurry up," he barks to cashier, "I left my car running." Well, so much for jolly. It was my turn. I manage to stop my hand from shaking long enough to put my things on the counter and pry my wallet from my handbag. I paid and fled. Jan's waiting in the lobby of my apartment building, chatting up my doorman. When he spots me he frowns. "Oh, look at you, honey," he says while hugging me. "C'mon, baby, let's get this over with." I smile, comforted by his genuine concern. When Jan's being comfort, his acc...

Broiling Alive

Some of you might not be aware of this but Chicago has morphed into the fiery pits of Hell, with atrocious sunburned feet to boot. See, this is why I hate summer, for this exact reason. Why do people insist on wearing flip flops in the sun? I can't tell you how many hundreds of sunburned feet I witnessed just last week alone. Jan managed to drag Diana and me to the beach on Sunday, where we both proceeded to bake and die immediately. Jan didn't care -- he was busy working on his "sex tan." You know, the kind where there's a dramatic tan line around the hips. The Swedes sure know how to tan, don't they? you would think with them being Nordic that they would just burn to a crisp, but no -- golden brown goodness all the time. This weekend, Diana's apartment was a cooling center. We conked out with old Glamours and iced raspberry-lemon tea. I don't know why Diana is afraid to throw away magazines. I swear there is a 1997 issue of Glamour with some supe...

Comfort Food

For lunch, I treated myself to a delicious T-bone steak, medium rare, and buttery mashed potatoes seasoned with kosher salt. There's nothing better in this world than buttery mashed potatoes seasoned with kosher salt. Comfort food, if you will. I needed that steak today like I need oxygen. It was pertinent to my survival; pertinent to my keeping my job.  Eating the steak today reminded me of how I've used comfort foods to get me through tough periods.  Breaking up with Michael: Macaroni and cheese. From scratch. I made  béchamel sauce and used several cheeses. I'd make a big pot and use chicken and broccoli to make it even more comforting. It was a glass of Riesling, mac and cheese, and a journal that got me through those tough weeks.  Losing a BIG Account: Meatloaf and mashed potato sandwiches. It was my first year at the firm and this was THE account to get, and I blew it. I ordered this sandwich two weeks in a row for dinner.  When Sister Attempted Suicide: ...