Skip to main content

I Hate Summer

It's summer. I hate summer. The only thing I like about summer is that I get to wear capri pants, sexy sandals, and show off my skin's amazing ability to tan beautifully (no spray tan here). 

Spring is much better: the weather is considerably more pleasant, no mosquitoes, and no sticky humidity.

That said, I do like that summer encourages cleanliness -- you have to shower more often, change your sheets more frequently, and exfoliate more. And one thing I love to do is to shower. Give me some Origin's Pomegranate Wash and True Grit exfoliating scrub and I'm in heaven.

My last boyfriend, the one whose quirkiness and eccentricity will make its way on the blog shortly, once asked me when I'd showered two times in one day: "What are you trying to clean?" He asked it in such a clinical, let-me-analyze-you way, that I felt weird showering too often around him. Clearly, any man coming between my beloved suds and me has to go. It took me a year to dump him, but when he left I showered two times that day and it felt like God was in each sud.

Back to summer. I hate it.

I hate humidity and how it antagonizes my hair. I hate mosquitoes and gnats and other annoying unidentifiable alated creatures that fly to every light source. I hate that I have to slather on repellent just to go for a walk. I hate that my perfume could possibly expose me to West Nile and anaphylactic shock from wasps and bees. I hate that my ceramic iron and a dab of Rene Furterer's Anti-Frizz Gel doesn't keep my hair straight like it does during the other three seasons.

I hate summer.

I hate that I have to go to work in the summer, and that I have to do it now.
Labels:

Popular posts from this blog

Goodbye, for Now

On Tuesday I turned 27. I am officially in my late 20s, fast approaching my early 30s. There was a local story about a woman who biked, ran, and exercised her way into her 40s. She started running a day before she was to turn 40, and by midnight, she entered her 40s with an exhaustive bang. Meh. I think I will fuck my way into my 30s, with a hopeful orgasm exactly at midnight. But that's three years away, so I can plan accordingly. Anyway, I know it's been a long time since I've updated this thing, and there is a reason: no time. Life has been quite busy. Work is more hectic than ever, and I am often working late into the evening and bringing work home. I don't even have time for a decent dinner. Dinner tonight was canned fruit cocktail in gross heavy syrup (I couldn't find it in juice) eaten straight from the can and a  Diet 7-UP. I was grateful for the time to consume even that. But how I dream of spicy veggie lo mein and shrimp in lobster sauce. At 3 a.m., ...
Read more

Birthday

On December 12, 1979, at 6:03 am, I made my way through the birth canal and into the light. It's my belief that when people say "Go into the light" when a person is dying, that the person is simply being born into another life. You leave the dark confines of the womb and glide into the light of a brightly lit hospital room and new life. But I digress. Bald, weighing eight pounds, and screaming at the top of my lungs, I realized that even as a newborn I needed to be heard.  My first gift to myself was to sleep until noon. I even let my alarm clock go off at its scheduled time of 7:30 just to rub it in that I'm sleeping in late.  As soon as I got up, my phone rang -- it was Paula. "Zaftig, I know you're off, but [big client] is here and he wants to meet everyone on the project team. Can you be here by 1:30?" "Sure," I said, sounding overly chirpy. A long time ago, I learned that only you can ruin your special occasions. If you allow things to ups...
Read more

Happy New Year II

Well, my New Year was quite happy. I spent all Sunday lounging in bed with Steven. Sure, we smelled like sex, alcohol, and freshening cloths, but it was such a beautiful moment. The only times he left the bed was to bring us toothpaste and toothbrushes, me orange juice, and to pay for our ordered-in Chinese. And the only time I left was to use the bathroom. We even had a chopstick duel that lasted a good ten minutes, with me winning by snapping his chopsticks into fours, to which he exclaimed, "Damn bamboo!" After we were fully fed, sexed, and freshned, we watched On Demand programming, which was both fun (the Cathouse series on HBO) and gross (The Discovery Channel's Medical Incredibles series, where a woman's skin fell off.) Then we talked about our New Year's resolutions. He wants to buy a new car. I, on the otherhand, want to stop buying stuff. "I'd like to be sensible ." He finally went home around eleven, it was then I changed my sheets and too...
Read more