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Morning Revelations, Vol. 1

10 Things I Loved about Dating a Rich Man


10. The ten pairs of Jimmy Choos I own

9. Dates that start off at Vermillion on Hubbard and end at the Drury Lane Theater

8. Extremely good oral sex -- performed in the ladies bathroom at a private party.

7. Ordering $200 bottles of wine at dinner

6. Having my first squirting experience -- expertly done during fore-play using the come hither method

5. Having his driver pick me up in a tinted window, shiny black Cadillac Deville at work. (Extra points if I remembered to bring my Jackie-O sunglasses that day.)

4. Having his Personal Assistant pick up my lunch, groceries, and shop for a new DVD player

3. Going to Nepal for a week.

2. Saving money -- because He paid for everything, I saved a lot of money.

1. Dinners at Tru -- where the wine's good and the food is porn.

10 Things I Hated about Dating a Rich Man


10. His mood swings

9. His massive porn collection -- hey, I like porn in muted amounts, but he had an actual porn study in his house.

8. Being made to wear no panties on dates.

7. Buying him a "reasonable" gift on Valentine's Day -- try spending less than $300 on a man who drops $1000 in an hour.

6. Hearing him talk about his ex-wife -- "I almost killed her one night."

5. His friends -- being groped at a party by not one, but three of his close friends.

4. Going to the movies with Him -- he hated every movie we've ever saw together, and he ranted on and on about them.

3. That He wore briefs.

2. His big, intimidating Great Dane that never liked me.

1. His being eleven years my senior and treating me like a damsel because of it.

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