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In It For...?

My mind is consumed with thoughts of having sex with Him. Why do I want sex so much? Is it beyond reaching orgasm? Is it beyond wanting to be penetrated fully and brought to a vaginal orgasm? Is it beyond the scope of what I'm capable of comprehending?

Today, at work, he pulled me into his office and asked me to kiss him. I did. With PASSION. Oohh, I had to beg myself to step away from his body. Every erogenous zone in on my body was on fire. Then he said, "Come here." He even extended his index finger and motioned for me to do so. Obedient, I did. And he sat me on his desk and wrapped my legs around him. He took a call in this position; using the opportunity to feel places he isn't allowed yet -- knowing I wasn't going to verbally protest while he was on the phone. I pushed against him, but his strength overpowered me. I liked that. He went for my feet again, and removed them from my new Weitzmans, they fell to the floor. My reflex was to save the shoes that have made me almost broke this week. He stopped me. The arch is god.

After ten minutes of being in this position, He let me go. As I put my shoes on, He smiled at me. Then He said it: "I'm going to fuck you."

I didn't reply. The way He looked at me when he said it is what made me clench all the way back to my desk.

I left work without seeing Him.

Now I'm home, thinking of Him. My instincts tell me He's in it only for sex. And since I keep thinking of having sex with Him, I wonder if that's what I'm in it for too.

Something for me to chew on while I try on the perfect size-14 clothes Jan sent to me today.


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