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Goodbye, for Now

On Tuesday I turned 27. I am officially in my late 20s, fast approaching my early 30s. There was a local story about a woman who biked, ran, and exercised her way into her 40s. She started running a day before she was to turn 40, and by midnight, she entered her 40s with an exhaustive bang. Meh. I think I will fuck my way into my 30s, with a hopeful orgasm exactly at midnight. But that's three years away, so I can plan accordingly. Anyway, I know it's been a long time since I've updated this thing, and there is a reason: no time. Life has been quite busy. Work is more hectic than ever, and I am often working late into the evening and bringing work home. I don't even have time for a decent dinner. Dinner tonight was canned fruit cocktail in gross heavy syrup (I couldn't find it in juice) eaten straight from the can and a  Diet 7-UP. I was grateful for the time to consume even that. But how I dream of spicy veggie lo mein and shrimp in lobster sauce. At 3 a.m.,
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Recent posts

Broiling Alive

Some of you might not be aware of this but Chicago has morphed into the fiery pits of Hell, with atrocious sunburned feet to boot. See, this is why I hate summer, for this exact reason. Why do people insist on wearing flip flops in the sun? I can't tell you how many hundreds of sunburned feet I witnessed just last week alone. Jan managed to drag Diana and me to the beach on Sunday, where we both proceeded to bake and die immediately. Jan didn't care -- he was busy working on his "sex tan." You know, the kind where there's a dramatic tan line around the hips. The Swedes sure know how to tan, don't they? you would think with them being Nordic that they would just burn to a crisp, but no -- golden brown goodness all the time. This weekend, Diana's apartment was a cooling center. We conked out with old Glamours and iced raspberry-lemon tea. I don't know why Diana is afraid to throw away magazines. I swear there is a 1997 issue of Glamour with some supe
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10 Things about Gay Porn

Last night, Jan brought over gay porn for me to watch. I asked and he brought. Several things about gay porn I've noticed: 1) The men are incredibbly, sinfully hot. 2) The men have impeccably styled hair. Full-bodied, lustrous hair. 3) A blowjob is all about suction. 4)Trimmed pubic hair on a man looks hot. 5)Tan lines can be drastic and still hot. 6)Men like their nipples tweaked. 7)Anal sex looks fuckin' sexy. 8)Two men in a shower? Yum. 9)Having sex in your socks only? Not an issue. 10)Music is so danceable, you don't know if you should watch or dance.
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Now There's a Medication for Being a Woman

Let it be known -- I hate medicines. They reek of population control. You know, swapping one illness for another, all the while thinking that multicolored Tylenol is saving every organ in your body. But your liver is like, um, yuck. I don't think it's a surprise that there literally exist a medicine and diagnosis for everything. But this recent ad I came across takes the cake. So it's a muggy and hot Monday afternoon (remember, I hate summer so I'm certainly not in my bestest of moods) and I'm driving to the North Shore to drop Diana off at the Dentist. You'd think a woman with a mouth dirtier than a New York subway and balls big enough to tell a man she'd piss on his face as a thank you for buying her a drink wouldn't need a "support buddy" to go have a tooth LOOKED at, would you? Well, she did. I was miserable. I was hot, my hair was a frizzy mess. I could feel the curls on the back of my head drawing up into a shrub. And Diana's going
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Duran Duran Ain't Gonna Get It

I should be sleep - I have to get up at 5 am for an important meeting. Instead, I'm awake, listening to Duran Duran, wanting to masturbate, wanting to scream, wanting to do something! Anything but sleep. I know, all the experts say don't weigh the day in your head while trying to fall asleep, but how can one not? Especially when you've had a day like mine. I was out of control with Steven today. After I refused New York and dinner on his return, he has given me the icy shoulder. Oh, on the day my hormones are beating the shit out of me. Oy, I felt the cold, steely, stinging hand of rejection today and I'm not sure if I didn't deserve. I'm sure I did. I tell you, things have been rocky since the day he sent me on the road with my croissants . We haven't had sex since then and I am about to explode! EXPLODE. I'm sure he is punishing me and letting me know that he's not a penis on call (thank Diana for that one). But I want a penis on call. Every girl
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All Apologies

I write a post about the sins I've commited and I turn around and indulge in them again - the sin of deception. I know I promised to update the blog regularly again, and I've been meaning to, but I just haven't found the time. Don't get me wrong, things are worth blogging about but I'm swamped with work and relationship issues from family to love. So bear with me, people and I will get this ball rolling again very soon. Thanks for the lovely e-mails. Z.
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I Heart New York

So Steven and his team are heading to New York next week and he's asked me to join his team and come along. The mischief in his eye when he asked this was enough to convince me. But as much as I heart New York, I think to go on that trip would be a disaster. Everything would be exposed for sure. Plus, I'd have to bring Jan along with me, because he knows half of New York and where to get the best falafels and find knock-off handbags. Of course Steven would want me to be on my back all through the trip and Jan would want me to be on my feet. I'd be torn between hot sex and a $25 Vuitton handbag knock-off. Oy. Weighing the pros and cons.
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