The Zaftig Chronicles

I should be sleep - I have to get up at 5 am for an important meeting. Instead, I'm awake, listening to Duran Duran, wanting to masturbate, wanting to scream, wanting to do something! Anything but sleep. I know, all the experts say don't weigh the day in your head while trying to fall asleep, but how can one not? Especially when you've had a day like mine. I was out of control with Steven today. After I refused New York and dinner on his return, he has given me the icy shoulder. Oh, on the day my hormones are beating the shit out of me. Oy, I felt the cold, steely, stinging hand of rejection today and I'm not sure if I didn't deserve. I'm sure I did. I tell you, things have been rocky since the day he sent me on the road with my croissants . We haven't had sex since then and I am about to explode! EXPLODE. I'm sure he is punishing me and letting me know that he's not a penis on call (thank Diana for that one). But I want a penis on call. Every girl

I write a post about the sins I've commited and I turn around and indulge in them again - the sin of deception. I know I promised to update the blog regularly again, and I've been meaning to, but I just haven't found the time. Don't get me wrong, things are worth blogging about but I'm swamped with work and relationship issues from family to love. So bear with me, people and I will get this ball rolling again very soon. Thanks for the lovely e-mails. Z.

So Steven and his team are heading to New York next week and he's asked me to join his team and come along. The mischief in his eye when he asked this was enough to convince me. But as much as I heart New York, I think to go on that trip would be a disaster. Everything would be exposed for sure. Plus, I'd have to bring Jan along with me, because he knows half of New York and where to get the best falafels and find knock-off handbags. Of course Steven would want me to be on my back all through the trip and Jan would want me to be on my feet. I'd be torn between hot sex and a $25 Vuitton handbag knock-off. Oy. Weighing the pros and cons.

I confess: I am a sinner. And according to the gospel I am going to hell in six-inch stilettos (Prada, of course) in a handbasket. For I have engaged in all the deadly sins and some not so deadly. What's even more sad is that I can recall specifics of when I engaged in a deadly sin. Lust: Oh, this one has been sinned out. In fact, I think my early twenties alone is enough to assure me a place in hell. I've lusted after everything there is to lust after -- men, married men, men with money, men with no money, men who want other men, men who want women who want other men. I've lusted for kinky sex that involves expulsion of bodily fluids from both partners. I've lusted after cops because of their uniforms; have had some wicked thoughts about being brutally frigged on the hood of a police car while at least fifteen cops wait there turn. Yeah, girl has Lusted plenty. Check. Gluttony: Well, this sin is committed at least once a week. I've overindulged on expensive food

It's here and I'm officially happy. Sure, I love cold weather -- fall is my fav -- but spring is my absolute favorite time of the year. I believe I have been through the reasons why , so I will spare you. However, I want to inform you all that the blog will now be updated regularly again, in honor of spring. Had some rough patches and didn't feel like writing too much, but the patches have been sanded down and moisturized and I can move forward. So stay tuned. Meanwhile, head outside and let the wind fuck you. It's spring.