Skip to main content

The Mango Man

Jan came to my job this afternoon with juicy, ripe mangoes in tow. But he came to check out my fling. In came this tanned, 6'6'' blond Swede carrying a plastic bag full of mangoes. He came upstairs and met me at my desk. I was wearing one of the new outfits he sent over two days ago; He fawned over how good it looks on me. He knows my style so well. He then set the mangoes on my desk. "They were on sale at Jewel's!"

Is being overly generous a Swedish thing? First three great outfits from his boyfriend Henry's boutique, our expensive sushi dinner, and now delicious mangoes. Who knows what else will come this week. I wonder if all Swedes are this generous to their friends.

Jan's not exactly the best influence on me at work: Last time he visited, he sauntered innocently to my desk and opened a bag to reveal a bottle of Sauza, sliced limes, and a mini salt shaker. His dog had just died,  and we were both incredibly depressed over it. We did shots out of cone paper cups from the office's water cooler. The office buzzed around us while we imbibed shot after shot. In honor of G, his beloved dachshund, we got drunk in the worst place to get drunk. With the help of a few mints, I made it through the rest of the day without anyone noticing. I think. I hope.

Back to the fling: Jan took one look at Him and whispered, "He's dangerous."

I didn't ask if he meant it in a good way or a bad way. I don't think it matters.

Anyway, mangoes for dinner. 

Thanks, Jan.

Popular posts from this blog

Broiling Alive

Some of you might not be aware of this but Chicago has morphed into the fiery pits of Hell, with atrocious sunburned feet to boot. See, this is why I hate summer, for this exact reason. Why do people insist on wearing flip flops in the sun? I can't tell you how many hundreds of sunburned feet I witnessed just last week alone. Jan managed to drag Diana and me to the beach on Sunday, where we both proceeded to bake and die immediately. Jan didn't care -- he was busy working on his "sex tan." You know, the kind where there's a dramatic tan line around the hips. The Swedes sure know how to tan, don't they? you would think with them being Nordic that they would just burn to a crisp, but no -- golden brown goodness all the time. This weekend, Diana's apartment was a cooling center. We conked out with old Glamours and iced raspberry-lemon tea. I don't know why Diana is afraid to throw away magazines. I swear there is a 1997 issue of Glamour with some supe

"...'Tis the Season.."

To be fucking jolly. If by jolly the saying means destroying a much-loved pair of shoes while Christmas shopping. That serves me right for shopping for cashmere sweaters, pearl earrings, and DVDs in four-inch heels, in this seriously fucked weather. Okay, so I wear Uggs out the house, but then I slip my feet into a sinful pair of stilettos when I reach my destination. Sure, frumpy Walmart queens and flat-footed soccer moms are staring at my shoes and wondering how do I do it. Do I tread the slushy city streets in foot porn all year round? Hell no. I know the power of creating porn with your feet, and so I try my hardest to present the most hardcore of porn. However, a day shopping with Jan will render every pair of shoes with impractical heels major softcore. Jan must go to every store in Chicago and the suburbs to find an effing antique lamp "that will fit perfectly in Henry's store." Jan explains that lighting is important when people are spending their money. "

Showing Off...Again

Within minutes of coming to work, I was in His office giving him another eyeful. "I thought about you all night long," He said, while wanting to touch me. I didn't let him. "I'm in your office way too much. People are going to know something," I said. He didn't care. We hugged for a long time; me getting a deep whiff of his sexy cologne. Then we reluctantly separated.  "See me before you leave?" I nodded. What's the deal? Is this strictly an office thing? Is this where the excitement lives? Sure it all feels good, but what's really going on here?