Skip to main content

Too Much

I'm having way too much sex! I'm doing way too many positions. I destroying way too many sheets. I having way too many orgasms. I knew things had got out of hand when, on a Saturday evening, I was in a piledriver position, getting it every way to Sunday, literally. We stopped at five am, Sunday morning. My back is killing me! I'm on Tylenol and Elexa this weekend. I'm really losing my mind about everything. This morning, Diane stopped by and I opened the door with my boobs hanging out of his shirt. "You look absolutely fucking out of your mind," Diane remarked.

"Go home," I said. "I'm busy."

Diane pushed me aside, barged in, and demanded to see the man who has me in this ravaged state. "He's in the shower," I said. "Now go home."

"Okay, but I'm coming back with Jan. Tell him to go home." She finally left without seeing Steven.

I joined Steven in the shower and we went at it once again. I screamed, "THIS IS TOO MUCH!"

To which he smiled and said, "No such thing."

Oy. Things are getting dangerous.

Popular posts from this blog

Tick-Tock

So there I was, standing in line at Walgreens, a bottle of orange juice and a box with the acronym e.p.t. stenciled across it in my hands. The orange juice is there to make me feel better. This is no big deal; just a city girl buying orange juice and a pregnancy test. There's an old white-haired lady behind me with a tube of KY Jelly and tampons. Okay.... In front of me is a middle-aged man, looking jolly with chubby red cheeks. "Hurry up," he barks to cashier, "I left my car running." Well, so much for jolly. It was my turn. I manage to stop my hand from shaking long enough to put my things on the counter and pry my wallet from my handbag. I paid and fled. Jan's waiting in the lobby of my apartment building, chatting up my doorman. When he spots me he frowns. "Oh, look at you, honey," he says while hugging me. "C'mon, baby, let's get this over with." I smile, comforted by his genuine concern. When Jan's being comfort, his acc...

Swamped

Yeah, things are pretty hectic right now. Just taking a spare moment to write this has fucked up my schedule.  Work has made me a zombie; I'm living off air, Kung Pao chicken, Fresca, and phone calls to half my workforce to attack their incompetence. I'm so swamped. I don't even think I will finish everything by next week.  Seriously, life gets like this at this time of the year. Trust me, interesting things are happening, but I just don't have the time right now to chronicle them. Bear with me. And thanks for the caring emails. Things should resume briefly.

Happy New Year II

Well, my New Year was quite happy. I spent all Sunday lounging in bed with Steven. Sure, we smelled like sex, alcohol, and freshening cloths, but it was such a beautiful moment. The only times he left the bed was to bring us toothpaste and toothbrushes, me orange juice, and to pay for our ordered-in Chinese. And the only time I left was to use the bathroom. We even had a chopstick duel that lasted a good ten minutes, with me winning by snapping his chopsticks into fours, to which he exclaimed, "Damn bamboo!" After we were fully fed, sexed, and freshned, we watched On Demand programming, which was both fun (the Cathouse series on HBO) and gross (The Discovery Channel's Medical Incredibles series, where a woman's skin fell off.) Then we talked about our New Year's resolutions. He wants to buy a new car. I, on the otherhand, want to stop buying stuff. "I'd like to be sensible ." He finally went home around eleven, it was then I changed my sheets and too...