Skip to main content

Reversing

We argued. It ended with me storming out of his apartment, carrying the latest issue of Marie Claire, a greasy bag of croissants and orange juice. We'd spent the night together, engaging in satisfying sex, discussing my latest obsession -- Brokeback Mountain -- and figuring out if we should stay in bed all day today. Well, this morning he happily went out to pick up my Sunday essentials, but when he came back he looked upset.

"Here," he said, thrusting the bag of croissants into my hand. He then walked to his kitchen, angrily grabbed a glass from the cabinet and slammed it on the table. "What kind of person are you?" he asked.

Umm.,.what the hell? I sat up (I was lounged out on his couch, bare legs outstretched, admiring my pedicure when he'd returned). "Okay, what did I miss?"

"A lot. I'm tired of this."

I swallowed the lump in my throat. I was feeling very frightened to the point I pulled my legs up to my chest and morphed into a protective ball. "Steven, what is going on?"

He paced the room. "Zaftig, you've got running around, changing my schedule for you, and you're just not letting me in."(He actually said this; I'm not paraphrasing.)

Okay, we've just had sex last night, we gave each other massages, and then fell asleep to the soothing sounds of Cole Porter. Trust me, I let you in, literally. "Okay, I thought we decided that we liked things this way," I said.

"I need some time to myself, could you leave?" He didn't want to talk, he just wanted me, my magazine, juice and croissant out of his abode.

Oh, it was hasty blur of gathered belongings, angry Weitzmans stomping on the floor, and a very acrid "Don't fucking call me," and a slam of his door.

So he fucked up my morning. No one fucks up my Sunday morning. With my greasy bag of goodies and a smiling, air-brushed MAriah Carey on my front seat, I headed north on Lake Shore Drive at 10 am. I cursed him as I manuevered past shitty drivers, newspaper salesmen, and various people in their Sunday's best. How dare he ask me to leave?!

As soon as I opened the door to my apartment, I undersood. He'd probably thought long and hard while getting my breakfast. She only wants sex, he probably thinks. Isn't this spectrum reversed? Shouldn't I be the one feeling like this? Shouldn't I be the one wanting a deeper relationship? Shouldn't I be the one left out?

I think it's time, guys.

Popular posts from this blog

Tick-Tock

So there I was, standing in line at Walgreens, a bottle of orange juice and a box with the acronym e.p.t. stenciled across it in my hands. The orange juice is there to make me feel better. This is no big deal; just a city girl buying orange juice and a pregnancy test. There's an old white-haired lady behind me with a tube of KY Jelly and tampons. Okay.... In front of me is a middle-aged man, looking jolly with chubby red cheeks. "Hurry up," he barks to cashier, "I left my car running." Well, so much for jolly. It was my turn. I manage to stop my hand from shaking long enough to put my things on the counter and pry my wallet from my handbag. I paid and fled. Jan's waiting in the lobby of my apartment building, chatting up my doorman. When he spots me he frowns. "Oh, look at you, honey," he says while hugging me. "C'mon, baby, let's get this over with." I smile, comforted by his genuine concern. When Jan's being comfort, his acc...

Swamped

Yeah, things are pretty hectic right now. Just taking a spare moment to write this has fucked up my schedule.  Work has made me a zombie; I'm living off air, Kung Pao chicken, Fresca, and phone calls to half my workforce to attack their incompetence. I'm so swamped. I don't even think I will finish everything by next week.  Seriously, life gets like this at this time of the year. Trust me, interesting things are happening, but I just don't have the time right now to chronicle them. Bear with me. And thanks for the caring emails. Things should resume briefly.

Happy New Year II

Well, my New Year was quite happy. I spent all Sunday lounging in bed with Steven. Sure, we smelled like sex, alcohol, and freshening cloths, but it was such a beautiful moment. The only times he left the bed was to bring us toothpaste and toothbrushes, me orange juice, and to pay for our ordered-in Chinese. And the only time I left was to use the bathroom. We even had a chopstick duel that lasted a good ten minutes, with me winning by snapping his chopsticks into fours, to which he exclaimed, "Damn bamboo!" After we were fully fed, sexed, and freshned, we watched On Demand programming, which was both fun (the Cathouse series on HBO) and gross (The Discovery Channel's Medical Incredibles series, where a woman's skin fell off.) Then we talked about our New Year's resolutions. He wants to buy a new car. I, on the otherhand, want to stop buying stuff. "I'd like to be sensible ." He finally went home around eleven, it was then I changed my sheets and too...